Saved by the Strategy
One of the things I have begrudgingly accepted at first, but now have embraced in my life is that a little bit of strategy goes a long way to getting you where you want to go. It helps with important conversations, events and personal challenges. Now just a point of clarity here: I strongly think that a strategy is different than a plan. Anytime I have a plan with all the details mapped out, it rarely comes to fruition and the likelihood that I will be disappointed is quite high. So I try not to plan any more - but a strategy can be a brilliant thing!
Picture instead the difference between a map that is zoomed in so that you can see every boulder, tree and range road versus a map that is zoomed out so that you can only see the bigger cities and major highways between them. When you can only see the big cities or the 'milestones' of your strategy and you have a general idea of how you want to get there (the highway) but you fully acknowledge that there are a lot of smaller roads, towns and detours that could lead to you taking a very different path from one city to the next. You cannot see them but you know they are there. The plan (zoomed in map) does not allow for curiosity and exploration. There is no space for critical thinking or trusting your instincts. Whereas the zoomed out map not only encourages this, but you know going in that these things will be required. Your expectations are very different going into an activity with a plan versus a strategy.
Having a strategy is a great tool all the time, but it turns out, especially during a time of transition because you will inevitably reach points of crisis. The strategy will help you move through those times without being caught up that everything does not look like you thought it would (don't we have enough to deal with at points of crisis without layering that disappointment on top?!) It also keeps you focused on the bigger picture while still allowing you to deviate down different paths of exploration and/or take care of yourself however you need to. Then when the acute situation has passed or you are too far down a rabbit hole, you look at where you are, you look at the next milestone in your strategy and you start moving in that direction.
When I decided to drive and camp my way from Calgary to Toronto, I took the strategy approach and mapped out the 'milestones' for my trip. I knew how long I had. I knew I wanted to camp. I knew that I wanted to stay in particular types of campgrounds. I knew there were particular regions I wanted to have the opportunity to spend a bit more time. With these parameters in mind I began to create a strategy for my trip. I did a bit of research which for me mostly involved talking to interested friends and calling the provincial parks. I shifted the strategy a bit here and there but by the time I rolled out of Calgary I was pretty excited about the journey to come.
As I neared the end of the first day, which turned out to be the most emotionally difficult of all the days for many reasons (#leavingishard) I found myself on the side of a road in Saskatchewan. I was on my way to the provincial park where I was intending to camp, in the absolute pouring rain. I was wondering through my tears how on earth I was going to set up my tent when I could not even see 30 feet in front of me (due to rain not tears - just to be clear). I am sure the friend who received the panicked phone call would probably chuckle, because at this point I was fully still intended to set up my tent. My friend's advice, among other words of wisdom, was: Go get a hotel, get a glass of wine and have a bath. You have nothing to prove. You have had a big day - go take care of yourself. She was right. It was the reminder I needed and I listened. I could take any path I wanted. I was the only one in the car and it was my journey. I felt amazing that night as I sat in the hot tub, drank some whiskey and fell into a real mattress.
The next day I woke up, ate my continental breakfast, pulled out my strategy and got back on track. By the time I set up my tent outside of Kenora, ON the next night I felt pretty good. I had listened to what was going on for me and recognizing I was in a crisis moment: called for reinforcements, practiced self-compassion and self-care, and then when the moment had passed I already knew what I needed to do next. I knew where I wanted to go and was able to figure out what I needed to do to get there. If I had not had a strategy I could have been completely derailed by what was going on for me and not known what to do next in order to keep moving forward. Without an idea of where I wanted to be the next day, and how that was a critical milestone in the larger journey, I could have stayed in bed continuing to stew on the situation, but the bigger picture was way too important to let go of.
I continued to explore, be curious and get off track the remainder of the journey. Anytime it happened, I appreciated being able to do that without feeling any negative or discouraging emotion about it and just accepted it as the journey. It allowed me to be gracious and curious with myself where I needed to be and simultaneously kept me moving forward.
**Pic - Breakfast at the campsite outside Kenora - Day 3 #backontrack