Tough Decisions? Ask Your Body.

I have a difficult decision to make. I was running through the pros and cons as I am very excellent at doing. Most of us are. We are taught those deductive reasoning skills young. However, as with what usually makes decisions difficult, this choice could be reasoned either way. There was not a wrong option - just very different paths following the decision point. Inspired by Heart Warrior by Glennon Doyle that I had just inhaled the audio of over the last couple of days (highly recommended) I got myself to a hot yoga class. Here is what happened in that class:

 I follow the instructions being gently given. My body resists. My joints and muscles are stiff. My body screams at me. I push through. We can do anything if we set our minds to it right? I remember why I dislike yoga. It is incredibly painful. Determined, I focus on the task at hand.

 I was awkwardly moving through the poses when the facilitator says something about wind-milling your arms up into a warrior pose. I am diligently following the instructions and mimicking my neighbor's body positioning when I experienced a really sudden head rush and dizziness. The overwhelming physical sensation forced me to acknowledge how my body had been screaming at me. As usual, I had been busy ignoring her; pushing through. Overcome, I relaxed the pose and let myself melt to the mat and in to a child's pose. With my forehead on the floor, I called a tête-à-coeur-à-corp (head-to-heart-to-body) to check in with myself.

 What I learned in those moments on the mat was not that my body did not want to participate, as I thought, but that she wanted to have a say and to be heard. My body was tired of my mind 'pushing through' when something did not feel good. As the only form of resistance that seemed to get my attention, my body would completely balk, and I had taken this to mean that she wanted me to stop. However, like a stubborn dog that digs in her heels as the only successful way to communicate NO to her owner when subtle communication strategies do not work, my body had just been trying desperately to get my attention. Humbled by my internal struggle, I decided to try to surrender. For the rest of that time on the mat I would actively try to relax my mind and allow my body to lead. I tried to listen to her carefully and pay less attention to what was going on around me and more attention to what was going on inside of me.

 In reflection, I ask, where are you pushing through something even though your body is trying to get your attention? Is it possible to slow down and listen to what your body is saying? Maybe it is saying ouch. Maybe it is saying: Something hurts here. Pay attention. Go slow. Maybe our bodies are not yelling STOP even though it might feel that way. Maybe they are just asking us to pay attention to them and acknowledge them. That STOP feeling might just be an extreme attempt to get our attention because we have been ignoring the subtle messages for so long. I know this seems counter to most performance mantras that we are used to: It's all in your mind! If you set your mind to it you can achieve it! However, what I learned in that 60 minutes is that my body is actually way stronger than I give her credit for. Instead of setting my mind to something, I need to practice relaxing my mind and letting my body take control. To practice trusting my body to lead. To pay attention when she says slow down. To recognize how capable she is.

 Now comes the hard part, to practice taking these realizations into my life. Trying to apply the same insight to my decision-making as I did to my yoga practice. Back to that difficult decision - now I am trying to listen to my body. Clearly my mind can reason anything, that has been proved time and time again. So now, I am asking my body. What feels right? Trying to consciously turn my attention from what is going on around me to what is going on inside of me.